What is Adoption?

I have a close friend that has been hanging out with my family for almost twenty years. He frequented our house at mealtimes, we helped him with homework, he went on trips with us to my grandparents, he went to the same college as me. Elizabeth thinks it is funny how we say goodbye to each other. Whether in person or on the phone we always say, "Love you brother."

It did not start out that way, though. I remember one of the first times I met him I thought he was annoying. As I was biking through the neighborhood I felt like he was following me. Over the years we grew close. Our relationship went through plenty of ups and downs. We had our moments of being upset with each other or not wanting to have anything to do with each other. In retrospect that just enhances the idea that he was my brother. 

I remember coming home from college my freshman year and my friend and I went on a walk together. He spoke of his plans for the future and how my family had impacted him. That evening, I knew that despite all the times that I did not want to help him with homework, he was a part of my family.

My junior year of college I did not have a roommate but he might has well have been. In my room I had a bunk bed as well as a soft chair that would fold out into a mat. Over that year me, my friend, and his roommate rotated who slept on what. Due to life events it was a trying year for all of us. But we made it through together and we supported each other. Today we are still very close.

The Google definition is the action or fact of adopting or being adopted.I hate definitions like that. I am fairly certain I would have points taken away in English class if I had defined something like that. To adopt is to legally take another’s child and bring the child up as one’s own. Seems simple enough. When we adopt someone we are saying this person is a part of my family now and I am making myself responsible for their care. When I talk about my brothers I rarely say that Victor is adopted. I just state that I am the middle child. Now once they see us together anyone would be able to tell that he does not share the same genes. I like to tell people that Victor is black because we are twins but he stayed in the oven three days longer than me and it darkened him up a little.

Victor is legally my brother. Honestly, I thought he was my brother before we went through all the legal stuff. I remember being taken into a room to talk with the judge one-on-one. The judge asked me if I would consider Victor as my brother. I responded, “He already is isn't he?” He then asked if their was any reason Victor should not stay in our home. “No,” I said, “he is a part of our family" and I meant it.
In the case of my friend, we never went through the process. We never got a lawyer or paid court fees. We did not sign any sort of paperwork or speak with a judge but we adopted him. He is a part of my family and I do consider him my brother.

Adoption is commitment. As we continue to talk about adoption I want this to be in the forefront of your mind. Even in the legal sense of it, adoption does not stop once the paperwork has been filled out and a child's last name has been changed. Adoption is a constant work, a constant display of love, kindness, patience, and care.

Looking forward we are going to be discussing why we should adopt. If you would like to preemptively add to that discussion or if you care to air questions, comments, or accusations of heresy about the current post please feel free to do so.

For those that have run into trouble with following the blog, it does not seem to let you follow it unless you have a Blogger account. Don't worry though, you can still comment and I will continue to share my posts on Facebook to remind people.

The Awesomeness of Adoption

When I was seven years old a black kid, only three days younger than me, came to live with us. At the time we lived in Kansas City where my dad was trying to start a church. This was the start of my parents attempt at foster care.

Three years later, Victor legally became a part of our family. This, also, signaled the end of my parents attempt at foster care. They realized that if anyone came to live with us they would not be able to let them go without adopting them. For some reason, my parents decided that they did not want a million kids.

Over the next few weeks I am going to be writing about adoption. I recently preached on this subject to my local church. You can listen to it here. I believe this ties into the heart of You Are More Ministries and what we are about. In the course of these writings I will be answering four questions:

What is adoption?

Why should we adopt?

Who do we adopt?

How do we adopt?

As we go along in this discussion I would appreciate it if people chimed in with their stories of adoption, specifically, what has God taught you through the process?

My wife and I have never adopted a child before, other than financial support through Holt International, but we are working in that direction. Financial stability seems to be an important thing. Nevertheless, I do feel like the Lord has been picking at my heart about the subject of adoption so now I spew it to you.

This is the part where I should launch into question one but I will tease my readership with it and give them some time to answer the questions for themselves. Until next time, may you bask in the Father's love!